the exam week I yaoivetalized

For the first time I am acknowledging a certain someone's opinion. I was missing out on tshd but now I'm ready to speak my truth.

WHAT THE FWUAK I LOVE QUEER MEDIA!!

(((o(*ﾟ∀ﾟ*)o)))

The gay and horror combo possess timeless qualities like that of softserve ice cream and french fries, like navy with mulberry, and as blue is to yellow. Interdimensional place as an allegory for the closet GIVE IT TO ME. Eldritch horror embodying homosexuality and internalized homophobia I AM SALIVATING. And to top it all off, intentional, well thought-out cinematography and animation!! 

Tshd is what byler could've been if they stuck to these concept photos. 

I actually can't expand on that rn it hurts too much to think about. 

This show is everything I wanted and more. OG Hikaru is not at all what I expected. Going into it, there were all these expectations of the mystery behind him, his family, and his death (which the manga probably explores). But bro literally died cuz he saw a busty woman shaped tree... if that's not a good symbolism for death by conformity idk what is.

(this is worst case scenario lowkirkenuinely)

He is an architype that I enjoy, one of those people that haunt the narrative or in simple layman terms the dead wife. From how episode 12 ended there's this dilemma of wanting to learn more about Ogkaru but knowing it would just hurt me more. Regrets are one of my opps, second only to the ego. I can not stomach a character wallowing in self-pity and regret of what could've been had they done this or that it literally makes me SICK. You can imagine that most shows would probably give me gastroenteritis and that's exactly why I avoided this show like the plague. 

It's one thing to have grief and regret as a central theme but its another to masterfully depict both in a way that doesn't bore me enough to scroll on my phone. Everytime Yoshiki grieved OGkaru while Monsterkaru was RIGHT THERE criminallll!!!!! (ﾉд｀；)

That being said, I am enjoying monsterkaru more. Something something about the grotesque entity having an internal spark of humanity something about the perceived threat just wanting to exist and live. I am weak to those plots as evidenced by similar interests. Everytime he othered himself for not understanding what it means to live I wanted to reach into the screen sadako style and grab him by the shoulder BABY NO ONE'S GOT ANYTHING FIGURED OUT SOME OF US ARE JUST BETTER PRETENDERS!!

Ask anyone what the purpose of existence is and they'll give you different contradicting answers. He mentioned liking to study has he not been introduced to philosophy at all?? 

It was also really interesting to pinpoint whether or not Monsterkaru's feelings for Yoshiki was born out of OGkaru's memories or his own. Like how exhausting must it be to constantly remind yourself that hey this thing is NOT your bff crush he is an unfathomable deity born sexy yesterday. Omg that's literally what he is... to Yoshiki specifically. 

The angst born out of Yoshiki wanting everything as they were when OGkaru was alive but with Monsterkaru being... well, not OGkaru, and elements of his supernatural disposition seeping into everyday life is scrumptious so tender so juicy!

Lets talk soundtrack. Tell me why this one song's chord progression is reminiscent of lover you should've come over?!!! In my search to find the title, I stumbled upon a reddit post saying the exact same thing. THEY PLAYING IN MY FACE. ok ok obviously that was on purpose to evoke longing ofc its my own fault for developing a visceral reaction to that song. It does beg the question.. was I emotional because the scene evoked the feels or have I been conditioned to cry when hearing lysco. Much to think about. 

The choir song. In the words of my yaoifidant, "it is hauntingly beautiful". No notes. And in terms of animation wow. This is what the new gens are growing up with? Back in my days powerpoint slides were the norm. Now there's not a single frame where nothing is moving. Amaze amaze amaze! The way they utilised different mediums to portray horror was a treat and a half like reverting Monsterkaru to sketches when he breaks down, the way they blended 3d animation, the way they used manga conventions for comedic effect ALL OF IT GAVE ME SUGAR OVERDOSE

Monsterkaru and Yoshiki also tried to kill each other which is always a plus. It is a requirement in all doomed yaoi for the two gays to have to kill each other. And this is exactly why the Wiseone parallels should've been explored in s5. Have Will be fully possessed and lose control when tapping into the hivemind. Let Mike pull him out of the brink and incorporate a fakeout death. SOMETHING.

There is nothing more poetic than loving someone to the point of insanity. When they consume your very being and it conjures up a real threat that must be extinguished. Or when you're the only one capable of getting close enough to kill someone you love who's now turned into a risk.

Or when your internalized homophobia escalates that it feels as though the only solution is to kill the cause of all those feelings.

One thing's for sure, I am reading that manga and I will be up to date STAT. Oh and per tradition, here are other byler related stuff I found:

(Live reactions):

• Childhood friends trope but miwi wouldn't hurt eo over something like a pet dying rip chester

• One repressed one represseder. This one not too sure on OGkaru's part. Monsterkaru is holding back a lot though.

• Yearning. Deep, painful, onscreen yearning.

• Small town restrictions on gay.

Shoutout to "I'm going back to the mountain." for bringing back 

"He's just my Tammy" "At least curse me until the very end" "Get out!" "I am forever your most devoted believer" "3,799 cruel steps" "She needs you, and she always will" "I'm not sick anymore"

I'd really rather all the scary stuff be gay and if I'm not asking for too much on that... also twinky. Universe hear my plea ik we go wayyy back from your very conception. Also make the homophobes at twin cinema change their minds and screen leviticus & girls like girls this month pls I CAN NOT LIVE WITH SEEING SPOILERS OF IT AFTER RELEASE DATE!!!!

(ｰ̀⤙ｰ́ )