I'm back in the building

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I have no idea whats going on up there cognitively but my heart feels like its folding in on itself. There's sadness, melancholy, and nostalgia coming from nowhere in particular. Its nice to sense so vividly but at times it becomes overwhelming to its detriment. 

Maybe its an amalgamation of everything I've experienced the past few days. The things I've seen, heard, and felt. They've all compounded into this urgency to change something. But the same source produces hopelessness, like invisible handcuffs. 

No, it feels more like an armor meant to restrict. Its heavy and dull. Its metallic and cold. So so intensely present.

Why do I have no motivation to do the things I used to enjoy doing so much? Why am I gifted with awareness when I'm incapable of meaningful change? 

Comments

  1. sirultimatefreaksalot4 July 2026 at 00:14

    I totally get this, last week I felt miserable for no reason inparticular. Perhaps we just go through it when we're alone so that its out of our system by the time we're socialising? I couldn't tell you because I still felt relatively somber (NOT THE ARTIST) around my friends as hard as I tried to be my usual upbeat self. maybe we aren't as upbeat and as happy as we thought? Not that I know you enough to say we're in the same boat... BUT WE MUST CHANGE! AND TAKE THAT ARMOUR OFF YOU ERZA CLONE!!

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