shame post 2

Second bout of humiliation ritual is underway and this time around I'm prepared.

But before we start, here were the circumstances that led us to today. M has a habit of being online at the most ungodly of hours (I will expand later) and unfortunately for him, that is the only time for actual human conversations online.

To make a long story short, mornings counted for 3/4 of his maximum screentime quota and there was no way M wouldn't use phone the rest of those 1/4 hour. 

So here we are.

help me god how do I shame

Before I destroy this man, let it be known that this is all in good faith. After all, a great man is hard on himself and a small man is hard on others. In this case, I will be the smaller man to add to you, great man. Because more hardships is equivalent to greater success! Which is what Lao Tzu was probably trying to get across.

ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧

As aforementioned, M stays up super late. I know some people are just nocturnal but come onnnn. If you cannot fight the genetic imprint built upon generations and generations of peril and survival, what distinguishes you as an evolved contemporary human being?

Did you know that sleep deprivation easily snowballs into other physical and cognitive impairments? Everything goes back to your sleeping schedule, whether its motivation, appetite, self-perception, EVERYTHING! And these things, in turn, have major repercussions for mental health. 

( ´･･)ﾉ(._.`)

An hour of sleep lost is equivalent to depriving yourself of errr the first lbp (?) game and playing the shitty spin-off thinking it was the og all along. And one day it'll bite you from behind when you realise life could've been better had you just done a little bit of research.

That constant existential dread in our hearts can be traced all the way back to our sleeping schedules. It has been confirmed. There is a reason why prophecy, enlightenment, and revelations through dreams have been recurring throughout history, philosophy, and religion.

The state of "sleeping" is yet to be fully understood; in fact it's still unfathomably contradictory when we look at psychoanalysis. Although the body is immobile, the brain activities are highly active. I wish it were as simple as how "Inside Out" depicts this phenomenon with little actors running around in your brain cuz then I don't have to do the research I'm currently not doing.

<(˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)>

All this to say, M, we need to work on those sleeping hours. I'm sure you're already aware. As I am that sleeping early should be the goal, but if dawn is when we can reach flowstate... NO ITS NOT! CHANGE IS ABOUND!!!

You know when a friend says "nevermind" after saying, in the most eager tone, "I have to tell you something"?! Or when your favorite youtuber misses their contractually obligated end-of-month video analysis on why the world sucks and we should overrule the elites?!

M HAS THE WORST CASES OF THESE!! 

"Omg I should write a blog about that!" I refresh for hours.. nothing!

"Yk I had this good idea for a blog..." never seen it since.

"I was writing a bit about..." WHERE IS IT??!!!!

M has tones of intriguing ideas in his noggin and its okay if he only lets a select few out to occasionally bless our screens BUT IF YOU TEASE IT SO MANY TIMES WITH NO PAYOFF YOU WILL LOSE YOUR AUDIENCE (me). 

I am sick of white men leaving clues and crumbs of things that oOOooHhHHh mIgHT pAyOFf wHO kNOwS? Talking with M always takes me back to November - December 2025. Good or bad thing? All I know is I have developed a bylsession then so whereve I'm headed with M's constant baiting, we shall see in 5 years. If I get diagnosed with something realted to brain injury, know it is part of his doing.

(ꐦ • ᴗ •)

Do better, no homepage scroll, watch aot as much as you can, give me more poetic space facts, AND SLEEP EARLY!